Inner Whizdom

(This appeared in the Career Management Alliance newsletter on 6/30/08)

When I was coaching full time, a main staple of my practice was people who wanted to transition out of dead end jobs. In many cases they had waited until they were truly miserable before calling. I love helping them find their way out of a bad situation and start to thrive.

When I sat down today to write the E-Bridge I looked up the Declaration of Independence (to be timely), and I was struck by the similarity of the situations– a workplace or government that had become intolerable.

It states, “That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

While I don’t recommend that employees overthrow management, I do advocate a strong feeling of empowerment. It is a person’s right and duty to stop suffering the insufferable.

I hope you all have a powerful and glorious Fourth, and pursue (and catch) some happiness.

I have not been feeling very wise recently.

I’ve been angry and defensive and felt like running away.

I suppose I’m s’posed to accept this icky, small-minded, puny, uncomfortable me before I can let it go.

Blecch. Not there yet.

Why do we feel shame for wanting what we want? Deep desire is the engine of the universe. We deserve fulfillment.

I heard myself complaining about someone who never did what I wanted because it was all about her. Then I realized I didn’t know– What do I want? Sometimes it’s easier to bitch and moan about others than to decide clearly and go after it.

There is no point in living with fear, shame, or emotional pain. Let it go. Accept, forgive, don’t hold on. It is not useful.

This is for my NLP teacher from a long time back.

I don’t believe there’s a lot of value in anticipating that change is going to be hard. A change of perspective can often come in a flash and suddenly everything’s different.

Whenever someone would make pronouncements about how difficult a struggle something was going to be she would say, “unless, of course, it isn’t.”

Allow the possibility that it will be easy.

1) Start with the basic assumption that everyone deserves to get what she wants. Therefore there is a solution out there that allows this.

2) Ask for what you want– put it out. Determine what is essential about it.

3) Listen and be creative about ways for everyone to win.

It’s all about forgiveness. It’s always about forgiveness. Forgiveness is love.

Why am I so much free-er, so much more myself when it doesn’t matter? How can I get to that state where I just let it go because it doesn’t matter?